Sri Lanka was once an idyllic island often referred to as ‘Serendip’. However during the course of the ethnicity based civil war it has undergone tragedy – gunfire, bombs, landmines, the loss of lives, rape and a civilian population that attempts each day to grapple with trauma, fears and uncertainty. In spite of the myriad of difficulties women have faced as a result of the conflict, they still retain an enormous potential to transform society. It has been found that within many deeply traumatised families it is the women who have emerged as the leaders, coping better than the men. The paper identifies that the first requirement is for women to gain empowerment through equal rights, skills and space to contribute to the welfare of their family and society. Its aim is to challenge group/agencies and the state to address the role of women caught up in the war.